Tofu BBQ?

Tonight's winner is an old friend, yet someone I've never had the pleasure if charring the flesh with. He's a martial arts specialist, future Golden Globe winner, and possessor of the type of mustache that makes Mr. Pringle cower in shame. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Stylish Brigham.









1. Which rapper would you most like to eat a BBQ feast with, and why? (I realize that this question skews a little young. If you were born before 1960, and can name a living rapper besides Eminem, Puff Daddy, or Snoop Dog, I'll give you credit.)
Fat Boys - just 'cause. Definitely a choice of novelty. M-1 and stic.man of dead prez - hope to have some interesting conversation and I'm pretty sure they are vegetarian like myself (I realize this to most likely be the biggest sin in the BBQ world and will perhaps qualify me for a public ridicule but let me say: those of you without sin may cast the first rib). The choice I'd probably go with would be RZA: even if we did not share common ground with our diets (though he's been known to dabble) we could consume various herbs and tonics while discussing martial arts, movies and Jim Jarmusch flicks - all interests we definitely share. Actually, I am now officially pescatarian - perhaps fish is my "gateway drug." But what I really want to say about BBQ is this: although I have not tasted with mine tongue the side of a pig, I have spread, with mine own hand, various secret sauces and rubs on the tasty (I hear) animal flesh and of course enjoyed all other elements of bbq culture. I will say, though happy with being raised vegetarian, the bbq has always been the one place that amongst the laughter, the drinking, the food-induced stupor, I have, indeed, felt a twinge of sadness and loneliness for not knowing what it is to taste the tangy (or not so much depending on geographical location) flesh of the pig or cow.


2 - Is Willie Nelson the coolest man to ever sport a ponytail?
If the top-knot of the samurai does not count then, perhaps, yes. I must say I am unsure on this one. Can you be sure that Benny F. never tied his back-flap up to get down to it?

3 - If Benjamin Franklin were alive today, what would he invent?
Using his past accomplishments as a guide I might say his interests would take him to harnessing the power of alternative energy. Possibly something related to the medical field - early detection for some presently incurable disease. Or lastly, he might preach a return to simplicity and articulately explain to the world how our thirst for constant "advancement" has taken us farther and farther away from the point of it all.

4 - What will it take to get Ann Coulter to shut up?
After thinking about it for a bit I am inclined to say laryngitis. She's a political Howard Stern - she can't really "get in trouble" for anything she says, it only helps her publicity. Some of her other quotes:

"I think [women] should be armed but should not vote... women have no capacity to understand how money is earned. They have a lot of ideas on how to spend it... it's always more money on education, more money on child care, more money on day care."

"It would be a much better country if women did not vote. That is simply a fact. In fact, in every presidential election since 1950 - except Goldwater in '64 - the Republican would have won, if only the men had voted."

"I'm a Christian first and a mean-spirited, bigoted conservative second, and don't you ever forget it."


Thanks for playing Si. Look out for your CD in the mail. Well, first, how bout you send me your address. Then come on up to Philly and have a nice side of bacon. By the way, you may not remember this (I try to tell you only every other time we see each other) but many years ago I told you that Spiderman's story could be turned into a great movie. See what happened? Well, I've got another one for you, but this is the last freebie. Holler. Orange.
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